A SPG Regrets

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This is a story of a girl who thought she could have it all, she lived dangerously by her desires and didn’t care much about anything else, much less about other people when they got in the way of that. She is the epitome of YOLO, and she lived her life to the fullest.

And by “life” we mean her twenties.

I first knew her when were were in our early twenties during uni- naive impressionable young adults who thought the world was our oyster that was ours for the taking. I was my hapless beta Blue Pill self as most local Singaporean guys are at that age and she was well aware of social power that women held by virtue of their gender at that youthful age.

She is a person who was what people would describe as “100% transactional”. Every dealing with her was evaluated on how much gain it she could get from it and how much it personally conveniences/inconveniences her.

It could be said that she had princess syndrome except that this was a princess who was perfectly and cynically aware and calculative of the value inherent in every social exchange. Hence she wasn’t just your typical dumb fempowerment girl that was typical of most of your english-educated females in a humanities course in university at that time.

Looking back through my Red Pill lens I now realise that she had to be more calculative because she wasn’t as pretty as her peers and needed to be more aware of how she could leverage on her social power for maximum returns. But that’s another story.

Anyway she had a nice quiet beta boyfriend, a Chinese boy still doing NS that was absolutely devoted to her, spending great amount on gifts, expensive dinners and activities on her from his meagre NS allowance. She rarely mentioned him but it was obvious that he wasn’t exactly giving her the tingles, even if he was reliable and good.

And things were about to change real fast for them, because soon she would be offered better deals.

She took a short trip to Europe for exchange and came back a changed person, she was different- hungry, dissatisfied with what she had now and wanted more. Being the beta White Knight who was the safe and naive non-judgemental confidante of many girls in school back then she expressed her doubts about her current boyfriend to me.

There wasn’t anything wrong with him- he had been reliable and loyal to a fault. In fact that was his fault- he was too boring and reliable, completely devoted in his beta script of dutifully supporting his girlfriend through life with a self-sacrificial donation of time, energy and resources to her.

She told me that he was nice and safe- husband material that she might marry one day but that was the problem. She wanted someone who was more fun and games right now. I was confused of course, for such rationales conflicted with my Blue Pill Beta script of how being a nice and reliable guy should pay off. In any case she revealed the reason for the change in her priorities:

She had cheated on him.

Europe must have been an exciting time for her, free from the clean and safe conservative repression of Singapore. Of course it was much safer then as they didn’t have all their problems with refugees and immigrants at that time- it was a decade ago before the current crisis. She had gone out onto the streets and day and met a stranger, an European who promptly got her high on some recreational drugs and ended up banging the daylights out of her.

That experience with casual hookups must have left a lasting impression on her because she had now seen the light and could no longer be satisfied with nor could she respect Mr. Boring back home who was dutifully paying his dues and keeping his hands to himself so that he can finally have her on their (eventual) wedding night.

She told all this to me with a straight face, with no hint of guilt or shame at all. Her main concern at that point of time, having returned to Singapore, was how to get rid of her boring Chinese BF without looking like the party at fault since he had given her no cause to do so.

Like I said, she was 100% transactional. Her BF had run out of a value proposition and she saw more exciting prospects ahead. Hypergamy doesn’t care if you have invested all your Beta energies into a woman thinking that will win her loyalty. She dumped him and set off with a vengeance to claim the world ahead. It was her oyster and she knew how to get the pearl. School was over and now it was time to prove to everyone that she can have it all.

She became a fully-fledged SPG, dating caucasian men exclusively. As she wasn’t the prettiest asian woman around she found that the market most open to her tended to be the middle-edge, lower-tier unattractive caucasians who were fat or balding who could not find western women back home or were on the wrong side of a divorce and had headed to Asia to feel like a man again.

Nevertheless any Ang Moh is a status symbol for an SPG even if he wasn’t the hot ones that the prettier SPGs could pull, and it was also a good living as they were willing to subsidise her lifestyle. The freelance work as a writer was all she find on an English Lit degree turned out to be irregular income. What? Work a regular job as an office drone? That was beneath her- her post-uni twenties as a young adult was for having maximum fun, not for doing something as boring as preparing for being a functional adult and “settling down”.

She made a big point of telling everyone that in the first few years of that lifestyle, writing long polemics on the wonders of the liberated SPG lifestyle and constantly posting pictures of her travels to various parts of the world with her middle-aged Ang Moh boyfriends. It was a good time for her, and she was living it up.

But things started to change, it was probably a combination of a drying up of suitors as she started to get older and a growing desire towards something more “serious” in her relationships. She was probably also starting to feel the pressure of competition from younger SPGs entering the market who could offer more in exchange for lower drama and upkeep and realised she needed to lock down an LTR with a boyfriend stat. The market for SPGs can be a vicious one, even more vicious than the mainstream.

Unfortunately, her years of happy liberated living funded by Ang Moh money left her with very few skills that would have rendered her a good LTR prospect, much less the temperament and character required for stability. Her transactional nature and lack of loyalty were instant red flags for any Red Pill Ang Moh worth his salt, leaving her with the either the ones who were so beta she found them unattractive or the ones that knew how to keep her at arms length in a relationship and prevent it from progressing to something more serious.

In any case she tried to settle down by getting into an LTR with an Ang Moh who was probably the latter- he was ambivalent about the relationship and they broke up and got back together multiple times. For the first time, she found herself in the unfamiliar situation of being the one that needed to qualify herself to the other party in the relationship. It was clear he had options while she didn’t, the power was starting to shift.

And with that so did the amount of male investment in terms of cold hard cash. She tried to find a full time writing job but the years of wild living had not really helped her to build up a work ethic, neither was she self-aware enough to realise that her attitude needed an adjustment or that she needed more market-relevant skills. She found herself job hopping and eventually even fired from her jobs.

The dream of the free and swinging 20s was about to give way to cold hard reality. The fun and liberated travels of the SPG lifestyle with middle aged Ang Moh boyfriends was started to be replaced by needing to pay her own way and play catch-up with her peers, many of which were much further along in life and had built up real assets for the future. She was now in her late twenties and hurtling into the thirties with none of her shit together.

And her “LTR” Ang Moh could see it, he dumped her and left her to her own devices- plenty of other SPG fish in the sea anyway. She wrote about how the breakup was empowering but it was becoming clear to everyone that they were witnessing a train-wreck.

And the big 30 finally came and past and in true social-media attention fashion she posted a long eulogy to the wasted previous decade by talking about how she had “grown” from the experience of her wasted 20s and was becoming stronger for it. A few Blue-Pills chimed in to provide words of “you-go-girl” encouragement, but it was obvious that nobody desired that kind of outcome for themselves. The party is over and people are moving on to the next big thing.

Today she struggles to get by on her freelance writing jobs, posting articles on why her kind of living is “independent and empowered” while simultaneously bemoaning the general lack of Ang Moh interest in her. As she approaches 35, the bitterness and resentment is apparent.

Barring an extraordinary effort to change her own attitude and gain life skills that make her a good LTR prospect, it is highly unlikely she will ever find the kind of happiness she desires. It is much harder to repair damaged goods, and for many of these women the future is cats and unhappy spinsterhood while convincing themselves they are the best.

If she had been a man, making a declaration of awesomeness simply for existing after fucking up the past decade would have gotten her laughed at and dismissed as a shithead who needs to prove himself before declaring worth. But being a woman society loathes to make her feel bad for making bad life choices and she sails forward ignorantly on the winds of convention, not realising the true extent of how badly she needs to change.

At the end of the day, we have to pay the bill for our life choices. The irony of my SPG schoolmate is that despite being so transactional in character and always making choices that favour her interests, she lacked the foresight to realise that ultimately the long game is what matters, and to make the choices that would be in her best interests.

 

 

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