Masculine Skills: Self Control

freaking-out


“Ender’s anger was cold, and he could use it.

Bonzo’s was hot, and so it used him. “

Ender’s Game


A close friend of mine has an issue with emotional self control and it has cost him greatly in his masculine journey. While he is generally a good guy, his one bad habit is having very poor control over his emotions, flipping out into fits of rage over things as inane as spilling the curry on his prata.

Unfortunately this emotional instability of his also carried over to his workplace as a teacher. While he was a good teacher and well loved by the students, his inability to contain his emotions often meant that he was on the short end of the stick when it came to office politics, becoming the scapegoat for the department. Losing your shit over stuff makes you look bad, no matter if you are in the right or wrong.

This also extended into his dating life, and it wasn’t so much his anger management issue that was the problem here but his inability to keep a stoic front, often wearing his heart on his sleeve or freaking out the moment things got a little serious, getting emotional and then bailing out. To this day he is single, and has never had a relationship in his life.

The masculine journey is a perilous one, and the thing that often scuttles a man’s bid to be the best that he can be is an inability to control his own emotions and letting them get the better of him.

Flipping out into fits of rage the moments things don’t go well, whining about difficulties, being overly soppy and sentimental, being overly-sensitive- these are hallmarks of a Blue Pill Beta male that signals to the entire world that he is a hapless man that is not in control of his own destiny.

In Singapore this often takes the form of whining about the government, whining about National Service, whining about how SPGs are sluts and can’t appreciate Asian men, whining about how life is tough and all that. A lack of emotional control is one of the reasons why many local Singaporean men are perceived as effeminate and weak. If you find yourself doing any of that, stop.

An Alpha male is in control over his emotions. He does not let many things get under his skin and only reserves anger for when it is appropriate. Even when he is angry, his anger is of the cold, calculated variety that is used it as a motivator to solve the problem as opposed to the histrionic hissy fit of a Beta.

Learn to control your emotions, be the rock in the storm. Don’t buy the claptrap being sold to you that men need to learn how to be sensitive. You will find that this pays many dividends in your work and social life.

Be the strong, silent man that is in control of his emotions.

Be Alpha.

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