The Girl With Daddy Issues

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The usual platitudes we hear about a less-than stellar past is that it does not matter and that we can rise above. But this comes with a caveat- you can only conquer your past if you are able to come to terms with it and learn the right lessons along with taking the right actions. Many people are unable to do this.

I knew a girl once during my beta Blue Pill days, she was just trying her best to make her way through life but life had dealt her a few bad hands. Firstly and she is the daughter of a single young mother who had to take care of several children.

Secondly they weren’t exactly well to do and the years were spent flitting from one rental place to the next while she watched her mother run through a series of live-in boyfriends over the years who would hang around for a season or so, a string of transient relationships which her mom could never convert to marriage.

In such an environment she grew up, never having known a stable father figure that could fill in for the parts her overtaxed mother simply could not, with her formative impressions of men being unreliable, transient entities that would enter her life for a season and then leave. Entities hung around with her family for in low-investment, low-commitment  relationships before leaving.

When she came of age she started a string of relationships with unreliable, damaged men, the problems from which which she would tell to her friends, one of which happened to be me.

Being the Beta Blue Pill White Knight that I was, I was a safe person in which she could reliably hang out with and confide in. In retrospect I now realise I was a good sounding board because I was so Blue Pill she knew I would tell her what she wanted to hear instead of telling her things as they really were.

Having been able to put a Red Pill lens to her actions now, I realised that her relationships with men were largely transactional. Men were resources to her, either to be farmed as romantic companionship or as safe Beta orbiters from which she could mine favours and resources. That was just her view of men, formed by her years of being raised by a single mother dating a string of unreliable men.

She eventually got together and settled in for a long term relationship with a guy who was equally a drifter in life. But of course she cheated on him with other men that seemed more exciting, with him being non the wiser and me bearing witness to all that as her then-confidant. I said nothing to anyone, and watched the various dramas carry on. Their relationship is still carrying on today, although she does still peek a glance to the men she cheated with from time to time.

During my Blue Pill days she was just a friend I was trying to help through life, but as I got more Red Pill I started to understand more of her actions and slowly drifted away as I decided to leave the sphere of female manipulation. I don’t blame her for what she did, she was just somebody trying her best to get by in the only way she knew how, but I wasn’t going to be the Beta chump anymore.

I would like her to be happy, that some day she would be able to leave all that baggage behind and form happy, productive relationships with men but I know that is highly unlikely- her daddy issues just run too deep and all her experiences with men are coloured deeply by the lens of her experience with the unreliable, damaged, drifting male.

Fatherlessness isn’t an issue that only affects men.

Feminism draws a lot of it’s female stock from people like her. She disguises her daddy issues under a thick layer of pop-culture feminism, stating in no uncertain terms that the patriarchy is finished and now is the time of girl power. And why shouldn’t she feel this way? Patriarchy had failed her anyway. She is a self-made woman, even if that woman was really made by a haphazard patchwork of resources and favours she managed to extract from her transactional dealings with men.

But what is she really heading to? She is approaching her 30s with her looks, one of the assets she managed to draw upon to mine male resources, fast fading. Her relationship with her long time boyfriend is based on comfort, but isn’t really heading anywhere.

When you are in your early 20s the world is your oyster, but as you start to leave them you realise that your options are increasingly reduced and the choices of yesteryear increasingly echo their consequences. And her life, set on the path by her daddy issues have inevitably brought her to where she is now- approaching the wrong side of 30 with a life still trapped in a lifestyle they should have matured out of a long time ago.

They just live in the present because there is no real plan for the future, just indefinitely delaying the decision to grow up and trying to sate all that existential drudgery with acquiring more cats and jumping on whatever fashionable progressive ideology that serves to prop up that social facade that serve in lieu of true self-actualisation.

In all likelihood, there will be no legacy. They shall pass along with their batch of drifters and that will be that.

It’s sad to watch but that’s the way it is, the girls with daddy issues are damaged, and in all probability you can’t help most of them. Very often all you can do is just make them comfortable and move on. It is just too difficult for many of them to realise that the real problem they had was a lack of a good father- in fact it may very well be impossible for them to imagine what even having a father-daughter relationship would be like. They simply have no concept of it.

So you can’t really help them, and if you have any common sense you should know not to date, or worse, try to make a wife of one. What you can do is to stop more girls from ever suffering the same fate. Singapore still has relatively strong family ties that works towards reducing this issue, so work towards keeping it that way.

Look around you and spot the girls with daddy issues, let them serve as motivation for you to stop the same fate from befalling your daughters, nieces and cousins. Be the strong, stabilising masculine figure in their lives lest they end up with daddy issues.

 

 

 

 

 

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