Beta Debuff

beta-male

“But I did everything for you…”

Being overly beta in your behaviours in relationships with women is dangerous, it does not matter if you physically attractive, rich and all that. You will not be able to buffer the decrease in appeal you will suffer in the eyes of your partner once you’ve earned the contempt for being too beta.

I used to know a guy who was reasonably popular with the ladies. He was tall for an asian man and was a jock so he was physically fit from the various sports her practiced. He also fitted the jock stereotype by being aggressive and short-tempered, and had an annoying habit of making grandiose claims about how he is the best in everything. His one major debuff was that he wasn’t very smart but given the other attributes he had most ladies were willing to overlook that.

Such a guy should have no problem getting a girlfriend right? Well nope, he had major issues. While he had a lot of female friends in his circle, some of which were no doubt around him because in general interaction he was good for their social proof, he never managed to convert any to a girlfriend despite expressing interest in some.

His major problem was that when it came to women he was pretty clueless and turned the beta up to 11. He had one previous relationship a couple of years back but that ended in drama and angst- much of it coming from him. He had internalised a lot of idealistic Blue Pill ideas on how to interact with women, pedestalising them and going out of his way to supplicate himself when he had spotted The One.

It was like watching a train wreck- a large, muscular jock supplicating himself by going out of his way to drop expensive presents on his targeted girl, interrogating her friends about what she liked (a particular concert) and spending even more money to buy an unsolicited expensive ticket for her to that event.

At that time all of us were Blue Pills, so we thought he was just doing what guys was supposed to do if they wanted to get together with a girl.

He did manage to get the girl, but turned out to be a needy boyfriend who wanted to spend time all day with her and didn’t give time to breathe. Her contempt for him only built when he started neglecting things that he was supposed to be doing just to be with her. It certainly didn’t help that he started complaining excessively and using her as an emotional sounding board.

And so their relationship ended, barely a few weeks after it started. The woman didn’t even bother to give the relationship a proper send off and did a text dumping, leaving him emotionally devastated.

Things got messier when he fingered one of the friends of his now-ex girlfriend as a third party responsible for the breakup and tried to pick a drunken fight in front of all their mutual friends, perhaps as a last-ditch effort in making a show to his ex. It didn’t work, she most certainly wasn’t having him back after that.

He spent a few more months wallowing in self-pity and making posts on social media on why women don’t appreciate the beta sacrifices that he made, perhaps coming close to a Red Pill breaking moment but his female circle quickly pulled him back into the fold of “useful Blue Pill guy to have around” with the usual tripe encouragement.

Will he ever go Red Pill and make full use of his masculine potential? One can hope, but with betas who have invested deeply in the obsolete gender-interaction script, especially the “useful” kinds that have a circle of female friends who are vested in keeping them that way, hope can be a fickle thing indeed.

While our jock was most certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed and his social choices were poor, but could one really blame him? He was just following the Blue Pill script that most men have been conditioned in since young- do enough nice things, treat her nicely enough and she will see all that and fall for you. The classic Beta game.

He did not understand that all that does not work on a modern generation of females who have been raised to believe that they can have it all- the pick of top tier men in the prime of their attractive years and the right to upgrade whenever they choose. That is their game, and that is how they will play it.

His overly beta behaviours quickly disqualified him when put up to the harsh glare of the young female hypergamy. His relationship was already dead barely after it started.

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Sage advice.

We all have had our mishaps during our beta Blue Pill days, so his case isn’t that unique. I made big mistakes being clueless and operating on the Blue Pill script with the opposite gender myself. Most of us would be there, save the naturals who know how to be Alpha from birth. Men grow stronger if they take the right lessons from failure.

But what our jock friend shows us is that it does not matter what attributes you have that theoretically should endear you to women if the core of you is beta. You can be tall, muscular and have all the appearance of being a dominant alpha male, but the moment you turn out to be all a simpering beta all that is for naught.

Indeed, having all the external attributes of male attractiveness and turning out to be beta may even be worse as the contrast between what you ought to be lead to a rapid buildup of contempt from your woman. Beta will debuff you in the social game. It doesn’t matter if you are rich, tall, dark or handsome.

Cultivate a core of masculinity, not just a veneer of it. You are a man, not a caricature.

 

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