“We are fast losing the sense of historical continuity, the sense of belonging to a succession of generations originating in the past and stretching into the future. . . .”
— Christopher Lasch, The Culture of Narcissism: American Life in an Age of Diminishing Expectations(1979)
One of the first things you need to think about when you make your way in the world as a man is think about the consequences that your current choices and actions will have far in the future.
Seems like a no brainer? Such thinking is not as common as you think.We live in an era of entitled instant gratification. Many millennials live with their time perspective firmly fixed in the present, they just want to live in the now. The idea that self-actualisation requires real work and discipline is offensive.
They need it on a platter, delivered to them in an instantly made facade constructed on sharing feel-good inspirational memes, publicly jumping on social justice bandwagons (to farm ego stroking social media likes), and doing whatever generic hipster things that allow them, if for a moment, to believe they actually did anything worthwhile with their lives.
But masculine self-actualisation requires you to be more than just a sham. A man who wants a legacy needs to work for it, and the first step is thinking what kind of a legacy you want.
Start thinking about the future you want for yourself, and you will start to realise that it affects the way you make decisions.Want a happy family raising well-adjusted kids that respect you as a father? That attractive girl who lives the wild party lifestyle you had oneitis for back in school will no longer look that appealing. Don’t like the idea of yourself at overweight and depressed at 40? Maybe skipping those gym sessions and stuffing your face might not be such a good idea after all.
Play the long game.
Don’t be like those who can’t be bothered about how the future plays out. The “empowered” strong single woman spending her most attractive years partying and sleeping around may be having the time of her life now but the long game prospect for her is bleak. When her looks fade in just a few years and men stop giving her attention, what she faces is a long, lonely life with a lot of cats and all time to convince herself it was all worth it while looking on enviously at her happily married counterparts that have made a better play for the long game.
And for the sake of your long game, don’t make a wife out of her. It does not matter how much of a soft spot you have for her. The years spent on hard partying and YOLO have left her with precious few skills that make her a good long term relationship prospect.
Don’t be the weak man that doubles down on the mainstream narrative that the traditional masculine virtues of strength and assertiveness are passé and toxic while trying to be the modern, “better” sensitive man in hopes that it will elevate his status as one of the “enlightened men” with women. He does not understand that he is kept around because he is safe and useful and the pats on his head from what precious few female company he does have are reassurances to keep him that way.
He makes his choice everyday to make himself weaker and more compliant. Don’t be that guy. His long game prospect is bleak.
As your own man now, you are responsible for your legacy. You can choose a future based on wishful thinking and weakness or you can put in real work to be the best you can be. Don’t be like your fellow millennials who live in the present with no idea of where they came from or where they are going, doing whatever is currently fashionable to earn them respect of the day. Think of the future you want, think for yourself, work for it.
Play the long game.
You are going to need it for the insurgency.